Just put it away!

Choose your battles, I suppose.  It is not that hard to put something away that you’ve taken out, so what is the problem with doing it yourself?

Here are some things to ponder as you leave that discarded wrapper on the counter top, or shoes on the floor:

1.  Just do it yourself if you want it done.  This is great for the person who did not put the thing away.  After all, it’s now put away so what’s the big deal, right?

a.  Well, in some individuals, this can cause distress and anxiety.  There are individuals who are so involved in their world being a place of order that a dish in the sink, or a sock on the floor becomes not something to deal with, but something to create a heightened level of stress.

b.  In addition, if the person that did not put the item away is a child they are learning that someone else will do it for them if they wait long enough.  This does not teach the child personal responsibility and creates, instead, a child who grows into a man or woman who does not think they have to do things for something to occur.

 

Crisis of Wills

Today I was a part of a crisis of wills.  Getting a frantic phone call from someone regarding her x-boyfriend and their child.

The father was estranged, has been known to steal and otherwise not be the best role-model for his child.  However, the blame is not to be placed solely on the head of this father on this situation.

You see, the child is to be in school, but has not yet been enrolled.  I don’t know the particulars but I do believe this needs to be resolved.

The bigger issue is the child:  he has some serious emotional problems that cause him to not exactly behave as a child over the age of 11.

His world perception is that of a neglected, abused slave in his home.  Although this is not the case it is the perception.  Of course when the child visits his father, he tells him of his own perception.

These 2 parental groups need to get together and figure out what is best for this child.  His current home life is a bit disheveled, but it is not impossible.

I see the child’s perspective, I see the mother’s perspective, and I see the father’s perspective.  Most of all, I’ve had a hand in putting this child on a path to success before relinquishing him back to his mother 2 1/2 years ago, where the path became too rocky for his mother and step-father to maintain.

I do believe that spending more time with his father–a month probationary period–might help the child to become a bit more balanced.  If the father can show responsible fatherly behavior, get some help of his own through counseling–he has been known to steal–and learn some parenting skills, and if the same can be done for the child’s mother and step-father, then maybe the three of them could become a positive set of role models for the child.

What I do not see is the troubles that have caused so much anxiety in these parents.  They don’t seem to know how to communicate with each other.  It is a crisis of wills.  Everyone has their will over the child, but the child has no will of his own.  He feels powerless and is using his parents against each other to try to gain some empowerment in his own life.

What to do…what to do…

I do believe I know, but the advice requires execution–that is where the crisis of wills stops progress.

Hello world!

Welcome to the Professional Mom’s Community Web Site.

I hope you like it here.

This will become a lovely place for talk about recipes, quilting patterns, nationalized healthcare, child care, and your rights as a sentient being in a world dominated by the rule of men.

Remember that this world would not have anyone in it if it were not for us, and so we should plant our feet firmly in the ground and have our thoughts validated.

As we are continually barraged by those who presume we are too weak-minded to have our own thoughts, we begin to believe that.  But you know as well as I do that we can save the world if those who presume to have control over us:  husbands, fathers, mothers, politicians, bosses, clergy, and even our nosy neighbors would leave us alone to think for ourselves.

Now, as I see it, we should all be thinkers, rather than reactionaries.  We are not the product of our environment unless we allow that to occur.  We have voices, and it is time to be heard.

Let’s ring our voices loud and clear, and speak about what we have opinions about.

Two rules.

1.  No obscenity.  You’re better than that.

2.  You can disagree with each other but are not allowed to name-call, berate, or dictate the opinions of others.

After all, this site lives in America, where all speech is free.